Assassinating someone is another way of saying I care, just not in the way they'd want you to. Dov Davidoff More Quotes by Dov Davidoff More Quotes From Dov Davidoff I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots. Dov Davidoff actingdrinkingpeople People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are. Dov Davidoff sensitivepeople Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs. Dov Davidoff clubstalkingmen Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking. Dov Davidoff violenceanswerstalking Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it. Dov Davidoff nikeguyacceptance People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat. Dov Davidoff top-hatscausespeople Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal. Dov Davidoff gamesanimalhappiness Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits. Dov Davidoff duvetsbenefitsawful Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you. Dov Davidoff sex We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value. Dov Davidoff celebrateholidaypaper Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy. Dov Davidoff health-foodunhealthypeople I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting. Dov Davidoff unattractivewishinteresting America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women. Dov Davidoff democracygoalamerica All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully. Dov Davidoff politicswishpromise Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world. Dov Davidoff cheerleaderworld I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it. Dov Davidoff fulfillingdifficultimagine You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer. Dov Davidoff congratulationsworldneeds You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding. Dov Davidoff issuessandwichesthinking Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing. Dov Davidoff brilliantintelligentpeople I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of. Dov Davidoff incapableamazedpeople
