Asthmatic immigrant learns to breathe by writing. Gary Shteyngart More Quotes by Gary Shteyngart More Quotes From Gary Shteyngart It is a capital insult in this country not to make love to a naked woman, even if she is related to you. Gary Shteyngart naked making-love country My first book really did change my life. It allowed me to fully express myself. There was a sense that I was worth something as an artist. Gary Shteyngart artist book firsts Vodka has a huge history in Russia, in that it's almost like a currency. It's the one thing that keeps the country in the dark ages and having a rollicking good time. Gary Shteyngart russia dark country Italy has sun and tomatoes, and Russia just has real problems. Gary Shteyngart tomatoes russia real Alcohol causes a lot of problems, and then to solve these problems, you drink more. Gary Shteyngart alcohol causes problem Getting out of Russia was the best thing my parents did. I mean, that country will never amount to anything. Gary Shteyngart russia mean country I was really not a good student, and I felt that shame every day. That's one of the reasons I started smoking pot and drinking daily. Gary Shteyngart students drinking smoking I was a jackass in many ways. I projected that cruelty towards others, that kid whose hand I was wringing. If I could have hurt a hundred weaklings - weaker than me, and I was already very weak - I would. I was dying to hurt somebody, to pay it forward. Gary Shteyngart hurt kids hands Before my first novel, I was dating a woman who later went to prison for bashing a guy with a hammer. Gary Shteyngart dating guy firsts My parents were kind enough to spend hours talking to me. Gary Shteyngart parent kind talking My parents were constantly afraid they would lose their jobs. The idea that we were always a paycheck away from disaster was drilled into me. Gary Shteyngart parent jobs ideas All of my books have an element of a man who is in love with somebody and needs them desperately, not just for procreation but for being able to fully unbosom himself. He only feels comfortable discussing things with women. Which is funny, because 80 percent of readers are women! Gary Shteyngart men book needs When civilization takes a nose dive, how can you look away? You've got to be there. You've got to be at the bottom of the swimming pool taking notes. Gary Shteyngart look you pool swimming I'd love to have a 19th Century Russian book club where all the members had to act like the pretentious minor noblemen they were reading about. Gary Shteyngart like reading love book I have a love/hate relationship with just about everything, but certainly with America. Gary Shteyngart everything just relationship america In America, everyone writes but no one reads. Everyone's writing all day long - sending emails, tweets, text messages; they all think they're James Cameron's Avatar, performing in some video game for which they make up the script. Gary Shteyngart day game think long Without humor, I cannot go on and I doubt many of my readers would go on either. Humor is so important. I am here to have fun here with my work. Gary Shteyngart have-fun i-am humor work I love things on the decline because that's really the natural progression of our lives. We're born, we're feisty for the first couple of years, and then the inevitable decline begins. Gary Shteyngart things born love years I took an acting class with Louise Lasser, Woody Allen's first wife and co-star in many movies. I've done some other indie films, if you look on the YouTube. I love acting - it's great. Gary Shteyngart great you wife love I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. Gary Shteyngart iphone i-am me travel