Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. Josh Billings More Quotes by Josh Billings More Quotes From Josh Billings You can reach stupidity only with a cannon ball. Josh Billings cannonsballsstupidity Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. Josh Billings prejudicehousedoors Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will. Josh Billings convince-uspraisedesire Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. Josh Billings huntingideasart Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. Josh Billings want-somethingpowerfullove I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it. Josh Billings melancholyemotionmen Knowledge is like money, the more a man gits the more he hankers for. Josh Billings men Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it. Josh Billings mirrorsbrokenlove-is Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout. Josh Billings heartspringwater I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled. Josh Billings spellsmenway Titles are valuable; they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish. Josh Billings rubbishtitleswould-be I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway. Josh Billings bulldogsdoglying The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned. Josh Billings richpoorlife If the world despises a hypocrite, what must they think of him in heaven? Josh Billings hypocriteheaventhinking Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have. Josh Billings humanswanthappiness Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. Josh Billings wickedgodpeople To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately. Josh Billings reputationgivingcharacter Pedantry is paraded knowledge. Josh Billings pedantry The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so. Josh Billings ignorancewisdominspirational The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. Josh Billings