If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car Judy Gold More Quotes by Judy Gold More Quotes From Judy Gold My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure. Judy Gold doctors uplifting believe Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. Judy Gold laughing people way The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. Judy Gold dare first-time firsts Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. Judy Gold broke speech rivers Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. Judy Gold halloween creative opportunity Twelve years ago my mother gets her cataracts removed. So twelve years ago the doctor gives her these enormous sunglasses to wear to protect her eyes from the sun for 4-6 weeks after the operation...twelve years ago. She still wears them. She thinks they're attractive. She looks like Bea Arthur as a welder. Judy Gold eye mother thinking What if obese people couldn't get married? Judy Gold married what-if people We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. Judy Gold refrigerators articles my-family I have a nice little house in LA. Well, the bedroom is nice. I have French doors in the bedroom. They don't open unless I lick them. Judy Gold nice house doors My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. Judy Gold good family girl world Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. Judy Gold chicken cooking food love If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. Judy Gold live true myself I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' Judy Gold queen woman you mother I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. Judy Gold who gay want happens I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. Judy Gold go done mother love Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. Judy Gold lady yourself you women Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. Judy Gold comics dress cannot stage To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. Judy Gold greatest laugh job people Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. Judy Gold laugh role-model she women 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. Judy Gold would show name tv
