Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority. Garrison Keillor More Quotes by Garrison Keillor More Quotes From Garrison Keillor Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. Garrison Keillor religious christian funny What keeps faith cheerful is the extreme persistence of gentleness and humor. Gentleness is everywhere in daily life, a sign that faith rules through ordinary things: through cooking and small talk, through storytelling, making love, fishing, tending animals and sweet corn and flowers, through sports, music, and books, raising kids-all the places where the gravy soaks in and grace shines through. Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. Lacking any other purpose in life, it would be good enough to live for their sake. Garrison Keillor flower sweet sports We are great mysteries. No matter what we imagine we may know, even for all the facts we might gather, we don't know each other. Never do, probably never will. Our reputations depend on the opinions of the ill informed. We all have better moments than anybody ever knows, and so do all the others. We are, each one of us, books that are read by critics who only glanced at the chapter headings and the jacket flap. Each one of us is a secret, and on that basis we ought to treat each other with the deepest respect. Garrison Keillor secret philosophy book One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit. Garrison Keillor debt brotherhood one-day Bravery and adventure! That's the ticket! Don't sit and gather moss. Get up, get out, do what you dream of doing, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and you don't need to made that particular mistake again, but at least you won't get old wondering what if you had. Garrison Keillor dream mistake adventure When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word. Garrison Keillor dog sleep country Be well, do good work, and keep in touch. Garrison Keillor farewell goodbye love Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway. Garrison Keillor can-do sometimes Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. Garrison Keillor encouraging strength success We'd all be alot happier if we'd stop assuming we're supposed to be happy. Garrison Keillor supposed-to-be assuming ifs Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor Garrison Keillor beautiful beauty thinking There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes. Garrison Keillor clothes comedy funny Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love. Garrison Keillor and-love bravery art Growing up in a place that has winter, you learn to avoid self-pity. Winter is not a personal experience, everybody else is just as cold as you, so you shouldn't complain about it too much. You learn this as a kid, coming home crying from the cold, and Mother looks down and says, 'It's only a little frostbite. You're okay.' And thus you learn to be okay. What's done is done. Get over it. Drink your coffee. It's not the best you'll ever get but it's good enough. Garrison Keillor growing-up coffee mother The relationship between truth and a newspaper is like the relationship between the color green and the number seven. Occasionally you will see the number seven written in green, but you learn not to expect this. Garrison Keillor green color numbers Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Garrison Keillor forgiveness thanksgiving thank-you Forget what you learned about poetry in school. (That it's complex, opaque, a problem to be solved in 1500 words by tomorrow.) Poetry is the last preserve of honest speech and the outspoken heart. It holds the cadence of common life. It has a passion for truth and justice and liberty; it is a buoy to people in ordinary trouble: to a friend whose life has gone skidding into the meridian, who has been struck by bad news, who is frying eggs and hash browns and has whiny child clinging to his pant leg. Garrison Keillor heart children school When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal. Garrison Keillor community war school ... life itself is brief, and that is what charges the day with such ridiculous beauty. Garrison Keillor mortality ridiculous You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories. Garrison Keillor age stories answers
