Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true. Andy Rooney More Quotes by Andy Rooney More Quotes From Andy Rooney Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef. Andy Rooney cookingadvicefood We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it. Andy Rooney donemoonmen I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off Andy Rooney soaprichletters Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere. Andy Rooney hoursflyingwaiting I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me. Andy Rooney pick-mesubjectsliterature It is possible to be dumb and be a college president. Andy Rooney dumbpresidentcollege I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life. Andy Rooney i-candonecomplaining Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents. Andy Rooney smartpresidentcollege The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men. Andy Rooney armyhatemen One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates. Andy Rooney nicedoorsyears I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies. Andy Rooney babygivingbelieve There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties. Andy Rooney parlor I just wish insignificance had more stature. Andy Rooney insignificancestaturewish Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor. Andy Rooney richwealthwant One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend. Andy Rooney sweetestthings-in-lifeletters In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you. Andy Rooney assistantsgovernmentwant Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt. Andy Rooney gymnasticssexyhurt Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women. Andy Rooney clothesfeelingsyears Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way. Andy Rooney modern-lifefacesway I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number? Andy Rooney numbersmeanthinking
