Bodies and minds need breaks or the work suffers, this has been proven and reproven to the point where we don't even need to post links to support it. Carolyn Hax More Quotes by Carolyn Hax More Quotes From Carolyn Hax First group impressions can mask a lot of individual variations in the members. Carolyn Hax variation groups firsts Being highly invested and preoccupied by an emotionally consuming mission tends to steal resources from other aspects of your emotional life. Carolyn Hax resources stealing emotional Make sure you have legal cover for what you're doing. Carolyn Hax Plan your own vacations when you want to, and plan a suitable combined vacation with this other family when you want to. If they freak out at your planning your own vacations as you see fit, then let them. Bowing to unreasonable demands because someone will make you pay emotionally if you don't is not a healthy option. Carolyn Hax vacation planning healthy Attractions are things we all should be good at saying no to, because our Department of Attraction is arguably the least reliable and productive office in our entire brain. Carolyn Hax saying-no office brain I believe in innocence until there's proof of guilt and all that. Carolyn Hax innocence guilt believe I realize that people fly with small children all the time, and that babies are easier in some ways because all they do is sit/lie around anyway, but damn it's hard to keep a baby comfortable on any flight, much less a long one, particularly amid the looks of horror they will get from fellow passengers as it dawns on them that their 10- to 13-hour flight might come with a soundtrack of screaming baby. Carolyn Hax baby lying children You need to make plans for your future, so plan your own future. Carolyn Hax our-future your-future needs I'm not a big fan of the white lie. Carolyn Hax fans white lying I think we'd all hate to be the one who gets declared undateable by one's entire grad-school population based on a couple of told and retold stories. Carolyn Hax couple hate school When people get more frustrated by their indecision than by the situation that prompted it, clarity often follows. Carolyn Hax clarity frustrated people You don't want to be with someone who is already not getting from you what he needs emotionally. Carolyn Hax want-to-be-with-someone want needs One way to make tough decisions is to take incremental steps that don't commit you to anything yet. Carolyn Hax tough-decisions tough decision If you're not sure what you want, then hold back from making plans or responding to invitations until you have a chance to think about it. Carolyn Hax chance want thinking Unfortunately, I think the expectation is that birthday girls don't pay. Carolyn Hax girl expectations thinking If the guests want to wrest the check away from the host, because the host is also the guest of honor, then the guest who volunteers has to cover the whole thing. A guest can't volunteer -all- of the guests to pay for the host/honoree. Carolyn Hax volunteer guests honor There is a connection between environment and stress on both ends, with excessive clutter and excessive attention to detail both holding the power to distract us from our ability to love fully, work productively and relax effectively. So, what makes sense to me is for each of us to think this through on a few fronts: what constitutes a comfortable environment for us, how much effort we're willing to put into it relative to other priorities, and how well-matched we need our partners' preferences to be to ours. Carolyn Hax priorities stress thinking For some people, the better route for finding like-minded parents is just to get out of your house with your baby and frequent baby-friendly places. Carolyn Hax house baby people There is a difference between your parents' not reporting to you everything they do and keeping secrets from you. Carolyn Hax keeping-secrets differences parent Some people can work amid chaos or conversations, and some can't - and while there's no doubt an element of brain wiring to it, there's also the possibility of acquiring skills that improve your focus. Carolyn Hax focus skills people