CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with. Ambrose Bierce fool giving science He laughs best who laughs least. Ambrose Bierce laughing A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. Ambrose Bierce apes reform men Worms'-Meat, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Granitarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility. Ambrose Bierce meat passing-away house EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,' said Brillat-Savarin, beginning an anecdote. 'What!' interrupted Rochebriant; 'eating dinner in a drawing-room?' 'I must beg you to observe, monsieur,' explained the great gastronome, 'that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before.' Ambrose Bierce drawing cooking food ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice. Ambrose Bierce voting choices men Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego. Ambrose Bierce indulgence denial self The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself. Ambrose Bierce convince trying MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. Ambrose Bierce magnitude size would-be The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two. Ambrose Bierce instruments musical two The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself. Ambrose Bierce thyself modern mistake RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded. Ambrose Bierce dice politics player PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities. Ambrose Bierce black politics political Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods. Ambrose Bierce household goods taxes NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition. Ambrose Bierce assessment politics political Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure Ambrose Bierce theology assumption dream DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets. Ambrose Bierce delegation articles politics ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record. Ambrose Bierce pits records politics ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting. Ambrose Bierce cuffs president men We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization. Ambrose Bierce lying cheating art
