Childhood is the small town everyone came from. Garrison Keillor More Quotes by Garrison Keillor More Quotes From Garrison Keillor There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from. Garrison Keillor nice country moving It?s a beautiful descent in a 737, into the Bitterroot Valley, following the Clark Fork River, on a perfect golden autumn day . Garrison Keillor autumn rivers beautiful The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness; the superior man exults in his gloom. Garrison Keillor shallow happiness men Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant. Garrison Keillor ignorant oil running Cleverness is a burden after that. You are supposed to settle down and be a good person, raise your children, and be good to your friends, which you may not have been back when you were clever. Garrison Keillor clever may children This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. Garrison Keillor failing reason book Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota. Garrison Keillor minnesota earth jesus We have nearly complete misunderstanding between people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon, and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well. It's when you are trying to convince another person to think the same way that you do that there is friction and trouble between people. But when you feel that the other person is dumber than dirt, too dumb for words - why waste your breath - you get along pretty well. There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one. Garrison Keillor strong lakes thinking We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides? Garrison Keillor aids knows sex Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke. Garrison Keillor humor doe laughing In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. Garrison Keillor california inspirational giving I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph. Garrison Keillor oysters new-york writing The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage. Garrison Keillor people ideas fall I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme. Garrison Keillor rhyme come-up littles I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write. Garrison Keillor airports airplane writing I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time. Garrison Keillor friday writing morning Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality. Garrison Keillor approval-rating faces reality I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine. Garrison Keillor editors shy people To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art. Garrison Keillor polka form art Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks. Garrison Keillor palaces rocks honesty
