Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it. Stephen Colbert More Quotes by Stephen Colbert More Quotes From Stephen Colbert It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy. Stephen Colbert gummieswould-bebears Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. Stephen Colbert love-lifegratefulpain Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too. Stephen Colbert sellingmompeople The Yankees' Facebook page was hacked. The hacker was immediately purchased and signed to a 5 year contract with the Yankees. Stephen Colbert yankeespagesyears Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are. Stephen Colbert oxygengovernmentfire I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices. Stephen Colbert passionatechoicessuccessful When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter. Stephen Colbert carwantrunning A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!? Stephen Colbert agingwhat-ifgreatest-fear Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will. Stephen Colbert mondayhomebelieve Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds. Stephen Colbert gunignorancemind I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory Stephen Colbert plusvictoryjesus (on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news. Stephen Colbert fox-newsnewsfoxes Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes. Stephen Colbert answerswonderway But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away. Stephen Colbert gaydoei-like-you I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat. Stephen Colbert nicemeanart I teach Sunday school, motherf*****. Stephen Colbert teachsundayschool I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it. Stephen Colbert printed-wordreadingbook TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican apologist? ... Mr. President, it is time to hire the folks who've never let you down. Limbaugh at Health and Human Services. Hannity at State. Then give Rummy the Medal of Freedom and install Bill O'Reilly as secretary of defense. Only problem, you might find yourself invading Vermont. And I'll replace Chertoff at Homeland Security. The man's done nothing to control the bear population. Stephen Colbert whitegivingmen It's time for me to give out an award to newly elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner was elected just a few days ago to reform House Republicans, who are feeling the heat from lobbyist scandals. Well, CNN found out that he rents his two-bedroom apartment from a lobbyist who had clients who had interests in legislation that Boehner sponsored. And for that, Mr. Boehner, you've just won a pair of Stephen Colbert's big brass balls. Stephen Colbert cnnawardstwo Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry. Stephen Colbert graphicimportantexample
.... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.&pic=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-9aa7a19b8940b88751ae9ffe048cfb2a.jpg&ralateUid=&language=zh_cn){kind=link}
.... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.&media=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-9aa7a19b8940b88751ae9ffe048cfb2a.jpg){kind=link}
