Earlier tonight the second Republican debate took place here in California. With 10 men and only one woman, everyone thought they were watching 'The Bachelorette.' Conan O'Brien More Quotes by Conan O'Brien More Quotes From Conan O'Brien A comic book publisher says he's trying to increase voter turnout in the presidential election by publishing comic books about John McCain and Barack Obama. Yeah, the publisher said that the election comic books are targeted at first-time voters and long-time virgins. Conan O'Brien presidential long book In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani. Conan O'Brien change new-york names Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood. Conan O'Brien african-american location museums Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. Conan O'Brien fine dating doctors Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer. Conan O'Brien timing contracts eggs The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' Conan O'Brien party people television In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union. Conan O'Brien cleveland people moving The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Political experts say that if Obama keeps insulting Palin, he could lose the election and win a job at MSNBC. Conan O'Brien winning pigs jobs Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion. Conan O'Brien suing gay stories People all over the world now are following our election. And according to a new international poll that just came out, I think this came out a few hours ago, this is true, people in Canada want Barack Obama to be the next U.S. president. That's what they're saying. In Canada, yeah. That makes sense, because Obama has the support of Canada's anti-war voters, as well as Canada's black guy. He is very excited. Conan O'Brien war people thinking All the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 last night, except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six months ago. Conan O'Brien six-months lasts night There is some good news for John McCain. According to the latest polls, which came out today, John McCain has started to open up a lead over Barack Obama. This is true. Yeah. The USA Today poll has McCain ahead by ten points. The 'CBS News' poll has the two tied. And the MSNBC poll says that Obama won the election last week. Conan O'Brien usa news two President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards. Conan O'Brien awkward president baseball People looking into Barack Obama's campaign contributions say that Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad. Yeah. It turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey. Conan O'Brien campaigns may people Barack Obama was speaking to a Jewish group, and he told them that his name Barack is the same as the Jewish word 'baruch,' which means one who's blessed. That's what he said, yeah. Obama had a harder time explaining his middle name, Hussein. Things got quiet there. Conan O'Brien blessed names mean Barry Bonds in the news. Yesterday Barry Bonds' agent said that Bonds could hit as many as 1,000 home runs. And the agent admitted he's on more drugs than Barry Bonds. Conan O'Brien yesterday home running There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized... Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42. One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course. Conan O'Brien rising dream fall Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning. Conan O'Brien cartoon morning watches You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a beret. He is French, people. Conan O'Brien laughter hate funny The hockey lockout of 1994 - 1995 has been settled. They have stopped bickering... and can now get down to some serious bloodshed! Conan O'Brien nhl hockey serious
