Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out. Johnny Carson More Quotes by Johnny Carson More Quotes From Johnny Carson Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. Johnny Carson growing-updemocracymean I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and the fact that I make money at it - big money - is a fine-and-dandy side fact. Johnny Carson making-moneysidesfacts We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked. Johnny Carson piegonefirsts Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me. Johnny Carson auditionsguywant I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business. Johnny Carson hurttryingway Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day. Johnny Carson adultsdoechildren I get sick of that old rationalization, "We're staying together because of the children." Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce. Johnny Carson divorcekidschildren I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales. Johnny Carson whalesoceanbaby I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them. Johnny Carson politicianofficerunning How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own? Johnny Carson newsgonenight There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am. Johnny Carson apologyfinalsego The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear. Johnny Carson frozenturkeysblow Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat. Johnny Carson seatstankshappiness If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. Johnny Carson marriagelifefunny It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth. I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and the fact that I make money at it - big money - is a fine-and-dandy side fact. Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money. I'm concerned about values - moral, ethical, human values - my own, other people's, the country's, the world's values. Having money now gives me the freedom to worry about the things that really matter. Johnny Carson worrysillycountry Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline. Johnny Carson canadaairnames You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience; so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does. Johnny Carson successfuldoeway Having money gives me the freedom to worry about the things that really matter. Johnny Carson matterworrygiving I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations. Johnny Carson honestyhurtthinking A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island. Johnny Carson turkeysislandsfun
