Everyone wants to know in the world, is Hollywood racist ? is it ‘ burning cross racist ’ ? No. Is it ‘ fetch me some lemonade racist ’ ? No. It’s a different type of racist. ... Hollywood is ‘ sorority racist. ’ It’s like, we like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.

Chris Rock

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The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.

want writing laughing

I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.

excellence names want

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right p... by Chris Rock

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.

right-person done persons

Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven't been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they're going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.

tv-shows careers years

I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if you got technical. A lot of this is just selective outrage because honestly, the audience are the ones that tell us that something shouldn't be spoken. The audience lets us know. And I've never, in my almost 30 years of being a comedian, seen a comedian continue to tell a joke that the audience doesn't respond to. I've never seen it.

comedian children years

Learn how to cook. Read books that will educate you. Get an education. Get a career. And support yourself. And live in a section of town that isn't conducive to violence.

support careers book

Men are only as unfaithful as their options. by Chris Rock

Men are only as unfaithful as their options.

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people... by Chris Rock

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!

smart dumb people

Carol Leifer is funny, really funny. by Chris Rock

Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be... by Chris Rock

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.

white men years

There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.

bail trying people

People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.

credit cards people

Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather.

comedian wanted

If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!'

crazy basketball years

My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.

Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.

writing mean book

Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an e... by Chris Rock

Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.

pursuit wall flying

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

cameras real smoking

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing. by Chris Rock

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

laughing people needs