Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at. Bob Hope More Quotes by Bob Hope More Quotes From Bob Hope You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. Bob Hope weightlifting middle age If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. Bob Hope success happiness life I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people. Bob Hope aging age people The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time. Bob Hope growing age long The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. Bob Hope pet dog tree I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He's done nothing. Bob Hope carter done people It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets. Bob Hope cold pockets hands Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Bob Hope funny-inspirational witty birthday Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason. Bob Hope humorous night funny I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls. Bob Hope swimming work-out golf I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas. Bob Hope boxing sports funny When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. Bob Hope comedy actors parent Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome. Bob Hope humorous golf funny I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else. Bob Hope one-line these-days watches I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me. Bob Hope audience stuff men She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction. Bob Hope comedy helping life Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting. Bob Hope acting president funny Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico! Bob Hope humorous funny america Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns. Bob Hope buns mcdonalds six I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House. Bob Hope white running animal