Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row. Sam Kinison More Quotes by Sam Kinison More Quotes From Sam Kinison It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that. Sam Kinison rocksgiantspeople Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type. Sam Kinison stylerapguy You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd. Sam Kinison morninglaughingpeople Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?' Sam Kinison waterheavenjesus AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion. Sam Kinison diseasecompassionpeople Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it. Sam Kinison comedyformart I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles. Sam Kinison churchapprovaljesus When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man. Sam Kinison targetcomedymen You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food. Sam Kinison hungerproblemworld My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it! Sam Kinison viewsmissingtwo I'm attracted to heartbreakers. Sam Kinison heartbreaker So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move. Sam Kinison careersnumbersmoving Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds. Sam Kinison rapnicemen Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody! Sam Kinison scareguyjesus I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself. Sam Kinison one-daycouplechurch I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order. Sam Kinison rocksorderjesus What happened? Satan was busy? Sam Kinison divorcesatanfunny I'd rather entertain people than offend them. Sam Kinison people If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together. Sam Kinison telling-the-truthtogetherlying John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike. Sam Kinison categoriesfatsdoe
