For Beatrice, I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished. Daniel Handler More Quotes by Daniel Handler More Quotes From Daniel Handler Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead. Daniel Handler knockingpretendingrooms Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later. Daniel Handler cheesecaketurns There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them. Daniel Handler difficultsecretworld Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed. Daniel Handler mothsdoneshould The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you. Daniel Handler spendinghappensmight There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings. Daniel Handler buildingshadowlong The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen. Daniel Handler helpfulsmelldog Never look a gift lion in the mouth. Daniel Handler lionsmouthslooks Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely. Daniel Handler ridiculoussometimeslying There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. Daniel Handler sadreadingbook We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc. Daniel Handler horriblehappenschildren The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie. Daniel Handler kickassappropriatetonight Off with you" is a phrase used by people who lack the curtesy to say something more polite, such as, "if there's nothing else you require I must be going" or "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave, please" or even "excuse me but I believe you have mistaken my home for your own and my valuable belongings for yours and I must ask you to return the items in question to me and leave my home after untying me from this chair, as I'm unable to do it myself, if it's not too much trouble. Daniel Handler sorryhomebelieve Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant. Daniel Handler pleasantcircumstancesway It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable. Daniel Handler someone-you-loveperfectlove-is I’m happier than a pig eating bacon! Daniel Handler eatingpigs The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle! Daniel Handler sawslaststrying Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee! Daniel Handler I guess we’ll be traveling in uncharted waters.” “That’ll be fun,” Phil said. Daniel Handler uncharted-waterssaidfun But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. Daniel Handler congratulationssarcasticbaby
