Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. (Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.) Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain wisegraduationlife There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. Mark Twain motivational-sportsinspirationalfunny There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different. Mark Twain summerdoorstwo To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself...Anybody can have ideas--the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph. Mark Twain lightwritingideas Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. Mark Twain moneysarcasticfunny Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. Mark Twain sarcasticlifefunny The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. Mark Twain purposereligiousfunny You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Mark Twain communicationskillslove-is It is better to give than receive- especially advice. Mark Twain advicegiving Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made. Mark Twain lawlovewatches All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle — keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate. Mark Twain takeninspirationbook If there is a God, he is a malign thug. Mark Twain if-there-is-a-godthugatheist Do something everyday that you don't want to do. Mark Twain everydayactionwant A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or an affection; for it, and it only, is respected by wars and revolutions, and survives them. Mark Twain memorialnameswar You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs. Mark Twain habitbreakwindow Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag. Mark Twain bagsdamnhumans It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. Mark Twain freedomwisdomcountry Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. Mark Twain likespigsdirty Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain positivebirthdayinspirational Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. Mark Twain chastitynaturemen
