Gravitas is the soup bone in the stew of television news. Stephen Colbert More Quotes by Stephen Colbert More Quotes From Stephen Colbert We're not talking about truth, we're talking about something that seems like truth - the truth we want to exist. Stephen Colbert seems want talking If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking. Stephen Colbert mind people thinking The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. Stephen Colbert summer home book I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry. Stephen Colbert teenager newspapers school I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal. Stephen Colbert stars believe reality One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States. Stephen Colbert united-states one-day president I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq. Stephen Colbert hilarious government believe You don't want to just do a joke because it works - we can make a lot of jokes work - you want to do a joke because it will hopefully build into an argument. Stephen Colbert hopefully argument want The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with constitutional rights. I just hope he doesn't do anything rash, like declare that homosexuals are people with constitutional rights. Stephen Colbert rights justice men What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press. Stephen Colbert united-states wings trying Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay. Stephen Colbert gay proud acting Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie. Stephen Colbert kitten pie easy What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns? Stephen Colbert glaciers wave gun You see, we're America the Beautiful, not America 'Well, At Least She Has a Great Personality'. Stephen Colbert beautiful funny america Don’t get me wrong. Being a mom is no picnic. Raising the kids is the mother’s responsibility. It’s a thankless, solitary job, like sheriff or Pope. Stephen Colbert mom mother jobs Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom. Stephen Colbert kingdoms dog animal I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear black 'at' people. I didn't just want to play Hamlet, I wanted to be Hamlet. Stephen Colbert black play people Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires. Stephen Colbert wedlock fire baby President Bush, have a hot dog with me. Stephen Colbert president dog hot Oh sure, its fine when a monkey does it. But when I throw barrels at an Italian plumber, they call it a hate crime! Stephen Colbert italian hate doe