Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts." Michael R. Burch More Quotes by Michael R. Burch More Quotes From Michael R. Burch Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths? Michael R. Burch depthprinciplestaken When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better. Michael R. Burch being-bulliedopinionjudging It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all. Michael R. Burch leafsfall Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted. Michael R. Burch notespoliticalcards These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom. Michael R. Burch trumpprophetends Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines. Michael R. Burch heirslineschildren Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick. Michael R. Burch bigsspeaksticks Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off. Michael R. Burch partynicelong There's no better tonic for other people's bad ideas, than to think for oneself. Michael R. Burch peopleideasthinking If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You! Michael R. Burch worship-youwittyworld Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter. Michael R. Burch laughterpoliticalgrace The slogan of the American Civil Rights Movement was "We shall overcome!" Donald Trump's new campaign slogan is "We shall overcomb!" Michael R. Burch campaignsrightsovercoming Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons. Michael R. Burch irongunblow Donald Trump's hairpiece has reportedly narrowed its list of running partners down to Don King, Kramer, William Shatner, Dolly Parton and Phil Spector, and has no worries about being upstaged. Michael R. Burch kingsworryrunning Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired. Michael R. Burch presidentialrunningreality Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo. Michael R. Burch clowntrumpnames Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he sobbed Michael R. Burch insulttrumpsupport How can the Bible be "infallible" when from Genesis to Revelation slavery is commanded and condoned, but never condemned? Michael R. Burch genesisrevelationsslavery When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology. Michael R. Burch egotechnologyhair What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast. Michael R. Burch enormousasstrump
