Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science. Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart It's like hunting cows Jon Stewart huntingcows There's always anxiety when you start a new job, you're the one guy who doesn't know where the ketchup is. Jon Stewart anxietyguyjobs [If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode. Jon Stewart iraqdemocracypresident You know, I've always wanted to be a young Charles Kuralt. I started in this business with just a Winnebago and a dream. Jon Stewart youngdreamwanted If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may? Jon Stewart hayconstitutionmay Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay. Jon Stewart worrylongamerica [Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire. Jon Stewart Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. Jon Stewart cnnwantinspirational I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world. Jon Stewart agendasworldthinking If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another. Jon Stewart familyifsfirsts I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even going to be consistent with the same person. People can hold liberal and conservative dogma points at the same time. They're not living their lives via platforms. They're living their lives. The whole thing is an awfully tired construct. Jon Stewart two-sidestiredthinking When you're accustomed to doing stand-up, so often you're the only person onstage and it's all your thing. It's very gladiatorial. Obviously, when you're in a scene with somebody, you're supposed to listen and react - and that's a bit of a transition. Jon Stewart transitionscenepersons Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'. Jon Stewart rainbowgivingchildren I know change can be painful. But from change comes growth. Jon Stewart growthpainfulchange Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people. Jon Stewart horsejobspeople What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president? Jon Stewart moneyrealitythinking [He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever. Jon Stewart thirstsoundmight Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'. Jon Stewart hateisraelcountry Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the larger European men they actually have sex with. Jon Stewart nicemensex You cannot judge a book by its contents. Jon Stewart judging-a-book-by-its-coverjudgingbook
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