History is written by the victors, but it's victims who write the memoirs. Carol Tavris More Quotes by Carol Tavris More Quotes From Carol Tavris The scientific method is designed to help investigators overcome the most entrenched human cognitive habit: the confirmation bias, the tendency to notice and remember evidence that confirms our beliefs or decisions, and to ignore, dismiss, or forget evidence that is discrepant. That's why we are all inclined to stick to a hypothesis we believe in. Science is one way of forcing us, kicking and screaming if necessary, to modify our views. Carol Tavris decision views believe In the horrifying calculus of self-deception, the greater the pain we inflict on others, the greater the need to justify it to maintain our feelings of decency and self-worth. Carol Tavris pain self-worth feelings During McCarthyism, teachers feared for their jobs if they belonged to a left-wing group. Today teachers fear for their jobs if they hug a crying child. As in all moral panics, an accusation is enough to destroy a person's life. Hysteria trumps evidence. Carol Tavris teacher jobs children Even irrefutable evidence is rarely enough to pierce the mental armor of self-justification. Carol Tavris armor enough self Depression is not 'anger turned inward'; if anything, anger is depression turned outward. Follow the trail of anger inward, and there you will find the small, still voice of pain. Carol Tavris inward pain voice Most people, when directly confronted by evidence that they are wrong, do not change their point of view or course of action but justify it even more tenaciously. Even irrefutable evidence is rarely enough to pierce the mental armor of self-justification. Carol Tavris self views people Doubt is not the enemy of justice; overconfidence is. Carol Tavris doubt justice enemy As in all moral panics, an accusation is enough to destroy a person's life. Hysteria trumps evidence. Carol Tavris hysteria panic moral For some of the large indignities of life, the best remedy is direct action. For the small indignities, the best remedy is a Charlie Chaplin movie. The hard part is knowing the difference. Carol Tavris direct-action differences knowing When anger is not trampling roughshod through our nervous system, it is sitting sullenly in some unspecified internal organ. "She's got a lot of anger in her," people will say (it nestles, presumably, somewhere in the gut), or, "He's a deeply angry man" (as opposed, presumably, to a superficially angry one). If anger isn't released, it "turns inward" and metamorphoses into another creature altogether. Carol Tavris angry-man anger men Rebels and dissidents challenge the complacent belief in a just world, and, as the theory would predict, they are usually denigrated for their efforts. While they are alive, they may be called 'cantankerous,' 'crazy,' 'hysterical,' 'uppity,' or 'duped.' Dead, some of them become saints and heroes, the sterling characters of history. It's a matter of proportion. One angry rebel is crazy, three is a conspiracy, 50 is a movement. Carol Tavris anger crazy hero In sports as in child rearing, marital arguments, or tantrums, the same laws of learning apply; when an emotion is encouraged and the rules permit it, it is perpetuated, not 'drained.' ... An emotion without social rules of containment and expression is like an egg without a shell: a gooey mess. Carol Tavris expression sports children Baseball lasts as long as it takes. Like life, like love, baseball exists in real time. Carol Tavris real baseball sports The difference between the Japanese and the American is summed up in their opposite reactions to the proverb (popular in both nations), "A rolling stone gathers no moss." Epidemiologist S. Leonard Syme observes that to the Japanese, moss is exquisite and valued; a stone is enhanced by moss; hence a person who keeps moving and changing never acquires the beauty and benefits of stability. To Americans, the proverb is an admonition to keep rolling, to keep from being covered with clinging attachments. Carol Tavris differences opposites moving Severe initiations increase a member's liking for the group. Carol Tavris members increase groups Science is a form of arrogance control. Carol Tavris arrogance form When it comes to food, there are two large categories of eaters, those who do not worry about what they eat but should, and those who do worry about what they eat but should not. Carol Tavris worry food two [Sexual] fantasies, like children, are most interesting to the people who have them. Carol Tavris children sex people The second-sweetest set of three words in English is 'I don't know.' Carol Tavris sweetest three life The history of the women's movement in America follows a consciousness-amnesia cycle. Carol Tavris consciousness movement america
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