Humans treat time as a map and always know where they are located on it and respond with the appropriate emotion. Russell Baker More Quotes by Russell Baker More Quotes From Russell Baker Kingsley Amis was one of a trio of brilliant comic novelists who made English literature sparkle in the twentieth century. Russell Baker trios novelists literature Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder. Russell Baker ribald fun people There is a growing literature about the multitude of journalism's problems, but most of it is concerned with the editorial side of the business, possibly because most people competent to write about journalism are not comfortable writing about finance. Russell Baker literature writing people When sudden death takes a president, opportunities for new beginnings flourish among the ambitious and the tensions among such people can be dramatic, as they were when President Kennedy was killed. Russell Baker new-beginnings opportunity people Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong. Russell Baker educator half firsts Voters inclined to loathe and fear elite Ivy League schools rarely make fine distinctions between Yale and Harvard. All they know is that both are full of rich, fancy, stuck-up and possibly dangerous intellectuals who never sit down to supper in their undershirt no matter how hot the weather gets. Russell Baker ivy yale school One of the many burdens of the person professing Christianity has always been the odium likely to be heaped upon him by fellow Christians quick to smell out, denounce and punish fraud, hypocrisy and general unworthiness among those who assert the faith. In ruder days, disputes about what constituted a fully qualified Christian often led to sordid quarrels in which the disputants tortured, burned and hanged each other in the conviction that torture, burning and hanging were Christian things to do. Russell Baker smell hypocrisy christian The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can eat all the meat in Kansas City and still be nothing but a vegetable. Russell Baker vegetables cities thinking I am sitting here 93 million miles from the sun on a rounded rock which is spinning at the rate of 1000 miles an hour... and my head pointing down into space with nothing between me and infinity but something called gravity which I can't even understand, and which you can't even buy any place so as to have some stored away for a gravityless day. Russell Baker rocks space science The French fried potato has become an inescapable horror in almost every public eating place in the country. 'French fries', say the menus, but they are not French fries any longer. They are a furry-textured substance with the taste of plastic wood. Russell Baker food country america There's so much spectating going on that a lot of us never get around to living. Russell Baker live-life life Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years. Russell Baker records laughter years What [man landing on the moon] is doing up there is indulging his obsession with the impossible. The impossible infuriates and tantalizes him. Show him an impossible job and he will reduce it to a possibility so trite that eventually it bores him. Russell Baker moon jobs science Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British and all European society now is Russell Baker point-break british problem Schoolteachers seemed determined to persuade me that 'classic' is a synonym for 'narcotic'. Russell Baker synonym classic determined After that [father's death] I never cried with any real conviction, nor expected much of anyone's God except indifference, nor loved deeply without fear that it would cost me dearly in pain. At the age of five I had become a skeptic and began to sense that any happiness that came my way might be the prelude to some grim cosmic joke. Russell Baker pain real father A railroad station? That was sort of a primitive airport, only you didn't have to take a cab 20 miles out of town to reach it. Russell Baker railroads airports towns You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. Russell Baker smile feel-good opportunity In America nothing dies easier than tradition. Russell Baker easier tradition america It takes great self-confidence to write a newspaper column. Some might say it takes arrogance. Be that as it may, my willingness to pronounce on a great many matters of which I have little or no knowledge is one of my prime qualifications for this trade. Russell Baker self-confidence arrogance writing
