I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature. W. C. Fields More Quotes by W. C. Fields More Quotes From W. C. Fields The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike. W. C. Fields differences peculiar directors Ain't fit for man nor beast W. C. Fields beast fit men There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant. W. C. Fields ambition men america It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl. W. C. Fields marriage girl father How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter. W. C. Fields encounters devil beer Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night W. C. Fields philadelphia towns night I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine W. C. Fields cigar nine It is funnier to bend things than to break them. W. C. Fields break No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men. W. C. Fields forgiving sympathy men When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other. W. C. Fields undertaker doctors Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump! W. C. Fields uncles giving men If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons. W. C. Fields would-be wings pigs Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice! W. C. Fields pineapples juice drinking There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it. W. C. Fields eight lawyer body I'm searching for loopholes. W. C. Fields loopholes I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise. W. C. Fields i-can noise I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years. W. C. Fields drunk twenties years If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously. W. C. Fields husband humorous funny The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science! W. C. Fields giants brother world I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax. W. C. Fields income knives balls
