I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk. Terry Pratchett More Quotes by Terry Pratchett More Quotes From Terry Pratchett Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time. Terry Pratchett discworld walks thinking And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass) or who had no glass at all, because he was at the back of the crowd and had failed to catch the barman's eye. Terry Pratchett glasses eye broken Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real. Terry Pratchett being-real real mean When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things because. wow, then I could afford much *better* childish things! Terry Pratchett bvb men children As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies. Terry Pratchett discworld flats planets A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course. Terry Pratchett magic sex world London was not designed for cars. Come to that, it wasn't designed for people. It just sort of happened. This created problems, and the solutions that were implemented became the next problems, five or ten or a hundred years down the line. Terry Pratchett car people years ... when your name is really and truly Percy Blakeney, pronounced 'Black-knee', and you still have bad acne in your twenties, you accept Pimple as a nickname and are grateful that it wasn't anything worse. Terry Pratchett grateful black names People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour. Terry Pratchett waiting long people The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day. Terry Pratchett humanity morning people Classically, very few people have considered that cleanliness is next to godliness. A rank loincloth and hair in an advanced state of matted entanglement have generally been the badges of office of prophets whose injunction to disdain earthly things starts with soap. Terry Pratchett office hair people It takes forty men with their feet on the ground to keep one man with his head in the air. Terry Pratchett air feet men Often I sort of work up and down the manuscript. I sometimes used to go ahead of myself to see what was going to happen next, to make certain it fits what was going to be happening soon. Terry Pratchett fit next sometimes I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going. Terry Pratchett games mind thinking There is a soak-the-rich attitude in the air, a feeling that if you have a lot of money you must have got it by some ghastly means. I can quite happily say there was never any family money. All the money we got was mine, just from writing books. Terry Pratchett writing attitude book I read the 'Old Testament' all the way through when I was about 13 and was horrified. A few months afterwards I read 'The Origin Of Species', hallucinating very mildly because I was in bed with flu at the time. Despite that, or because of that, it all made perfect sense. Terry Pratchett flu bed perfect Anger is wonderful. It keeps you going. I'm angry about bankers. About the government. Terry Pratchett government wonderful bankers There's a lot of science in it, and as Slartibartfast [in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] said: 'I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation.' I've never, ever been able to do one. I remember one occasion at Warwick University, when Jack and Ian were at their wits' end because I couldn't get it. I felt totally ashamed. Terry Pratchett quadratics quadratic-equation fans Journalism makes you think fast. You have to speak to people in all walks of life. Especially local journalism. Terry Pratchett make-you-think people thinking There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory. Terry Pratchett territory hate people
