I can't not write funny. It's literally the only way I know how to do it. MaryJanice Davidson More Quotes by MaryJanice Davidson More Quotes From MaryJanice Davidson Never, EVER give up. Not ever. Not EVER. Ever EVER! MaryJanice Davidson rejectiongiving-upgiving I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did. MaryJanice Davidson sneakerscareersjesus He said my name the way diabetics talked about hot fudge sundaes. MaryJanice Davidson fudgenameshot Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as—" "Put that thing down," I said impatiently. "I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca. MaryJanice Davidson majestysaidenemy Kissing Sinclair was like making out with a sexy timber wolf— he was licking my fangs and nipping me lightly and growling under his breath and it was...oh, it was really something. MaryJanice Davidson lickingsexykissing Here I am, just wandering down a deserted street in the middle of the night. I hope I don't run into any trouble. Goodness, that would just ruin my whole evening." I strolled and hummed, trying to project Innocent Victim. MaryJanice Davidson here-i-amrunningnight All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck. MaryJanice Davidson editorscrazywriting I trudged around on the muddy river bottom for half an hour, patiently waiting to drown, before giving up and slogging my way back to shore. MaryJanice Davidson giving-upwaitingrivers It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves MaryJanice Davidson nervesscarysometimes It never failed—I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks. MaryJanice Davidson notebookwritingthinking Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers? MaryJanice Davidson communionholywater Back off, boys. You don't want to mess with an out-of-work secretary. We're real testy. MaryJanice Davidson realwantboys I've been stabbed before. Barely a week ago, in fact. AND I've been audited, AND I come from a broken home. In short - no offense, shorty - you don't scare me. MaryJanice Davidson scarebrokenhome Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink. MaryJanice Davidson wowgirlfriend My my Laura Goodman. I must say that is a charming name for a charming young lady." "Eric's old." I broke in. "Really really old." "Er— really?" Laura asked. "Gosh you don't look even out of your thirties." "Tons of face-lifts. He's a surgical addict. I'm trying to get him help." I added defensively when they both gave me strange looks. MaryJanice Davidson ericnamestrying Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'. MaryJanice Davidson weekfunmean ... friends are such a mixed blessing. MaryJanice Davidson blessing You'll pay," she said stonily. "You won't be like this by this time tomorrow." "Bored and pissed off? God, I hope not. MaryJanice Davidson pissed-offboredpay I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear. MaryJanice Davidson sweetcivilizationthinking You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull. MaryJanice Davidson emotionalcrazythinking
