I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life. Fran Lebowitz preferencesubway The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people. Fran Lebowitz artistpeopleinteresting for someone such as myself, who is kind of feckless and immature, it's better to have rich friends than to be rich yourself, because then you have wealth without the responsibility. You get to go to their houses, and you get acquainted with a level of furniture that you cannot provide for yourself. Furniture, I think is the most important attribute of rich people. Fran Lebowitz friendsresponsibilitythinking Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered. Fran Lebowitz exhaustingprofessionwriting Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era. Fran Lebowitz eraslife-isimpossible Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves. Fran Lebowitz restaurantsassurancemoving No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million. Fran Lebowitz millionsstealing If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like. Fran Lebowitz junknew-yorkpeople The effect of AIDS was like a war in a minute country. Like, in World War I, a whole generation of Englishmen died all at once. And with AIDS, a whole generation of gay men died practically all at once, within a couple of years. Fran Lebowitz couplewarcountry It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears. Fran Lebowitz writingbookpeople Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz balanced-dietbalancedimportant I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19. Fran Lebowitz drugalcoholage I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. Fran Lebowitz moneywinningfunny Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote yourself to it. Fran Lebowitz husbandcareersbaby If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am. Fran Lebowitz united-statescountryenemy If you don't have children and you don't have a job, you have time for friendship ... People who have jobs are not the best friends to have. It's better to be friends with people who are unemployed. Fran Lebowitz friendshipjobschildren if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room. Fran Lebowitz guestsnew-yorkthinking Presently it appears that people are mainly concerned with being well rested. Those capable of uninterrupted sleep are much admired. Unconsciousness is in great demand. This is the day of the milligram. Fran Lebowitz demandsleeppeople It's very disheartening to encounter a fearful twenty-one year old. They haven't earned the right to be that afraid. It's not like we're living in war-torn Bosnia or something. Fran Lebowitz twentieswaryears To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab. Fran Lebowitz apartmentorder
