I didn't really want to be a comedian.

Allan Carr

Categorized in : Really Want Comedian

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

i-think old over think

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.

charley aunt odd couple

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

weird will bad blame

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

i-think think rubbish hate

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

get go lazy believe

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

laugh like me people

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

celebrity meeting myself think

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

thought good college time

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

say anything like hate

I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.

new just money church

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me.

me comedy serious love

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

ball just man frustration

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

elton-john loads met people

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

lose performance you attitude

We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.

be-happy battle happy way

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.

meeting never you home