I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.

Darynda Jones

Categorized in : Liars Excellent Dentist

But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much... by Darynda Jones

But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.

causes eye

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty i... by Darynda Jones

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee?

coffee three morning

But, you're his son," I said, trying really hard to hate him. "You're the son of Satan. Literally." "And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson." Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, "Okay, point taken.

hate taken son

I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.” “Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?” “Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?” “Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.” “So, you’re saying I’m a racist?

growing-up powerful people

Mistakes were made. Others were blamed. by Darynda Jones

Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.

mistakes-were-made made mistake

No. This has to do with drugs." My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?" She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are." "I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.

drug together ideas

I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny t... by Darynda Jones

I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

shiny-things attention-span attention

This place is like crazy on crackers. by Darynda Jones

This place is like crazy on crackers.

crackers crazy

That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.

voice hurt believe

When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler. by Darynda Jones

When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.

jugglers clown fighting

After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

host coffee shows

The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt by Darynda Jones

The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt

shirts t-shirt police

After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.

suicidal long people

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got... by Darynda Jones

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

upset wife hands

Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.

dream night fall

You either fainted or you wanted a much closer look at the cracks in the tile. Either way, you hit hard." "Seriously?" He nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have been trying to make out with him," he suggested. How did he know that? "I was kissing him good-bye." He snorted and exchanged glances with the nurse. "That's not what it looked like to me." Probably not. But what happened? Could Reyes Farrow take control over me even from a freaking coma? I was doomed.

kissing nurse bye

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a... by Darynda Jones

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

experts may looks

He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.

hitting girl matter

If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-... by Darynda Jones

If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt

t-shirt hey hands

In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs. by Darynda Jones

In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.

defense dog rain