I don't believe that there is anyone of faith whose faith would not be strengthened by those experiences of family. Andrew Solomon More Quotes by Andrew Solomon More Quotes From Andrew Solomon The most important thing to remember about depression is this: you do not get the time back. It is not tacked on at the end of your life to make up for the disaster years. Whatever time is eaten by a depression is gone forever. The minutes that are ticking by as you experience the illness are minutes you will not know again. Andrew Solomon important forever years The way that Russian Orthodox services work generally, and certainly the way that this worked, is that it goes on for hours and hours, and people wander in and wander out, and people talk the whole way through. One of the American women said to the other, "This is so beautiful. I can actually imagine maybe even becoming Orthodox." She went on and on, and finally a Russian seated just in front of her turned and said, "You are not member of church because it is beautiful; you are member of church because it is the single truth of God!" Andrew Solomon church beautiful people Depressed people cannot lead a revolution because depressed people can barely manage to get out of bed and put on their shoes and socks. Andrew Solomon shoes bed people Depression means that you have no point of view. Andrew Solomon point-of-view views mean Absence does not so much make the heart grow fonder as give the heart time to integrate what it has not previously absorbed, time to make sense of what happened too quickly to have any meaning in the instant. This is always true. If it is in absence that people forget each other, it is also in the quiet pause of absence that, minds running in symmetry, people come to know each other; there is sometimes as much intimacy in the span of continents as in the shared hours before dawn. Andrew Solomon heart running people We don't seek the painful experiences that hew our identities, but we seek our identities in the wake of painful experiences. We cannot bear a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain if we believe that it's purposeful. Ease makes less of an impression on us than struggle. We could have been ourselves without our delights, but not without the misfortunes that drive our search for meaning. 'Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities,' St. Paul wrote in Second Corinthians, 'for when I am weak, then I am strong.' Andrew Solomon pain strong motivational The absence of words is the absence of intimacy. There are experiences that are starved for language. Andrew Solomon intimacy language absence One of the things that frequently gets lost in descriptions of depression is that the depressed person often knows that it is a ludicrous condition to feel so disabled by the ordinary business of quotidian life. Andrew Solomon depressed-person ordinary lost Suicide is a crime of loneliness, and adulated people can be frighteningly alone. Intelligence does not help in these circumstances; brilliance is almost always profoundly isolating. Andrew Solomon loneliness suicide people Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and depression is the mechanism of that despair. Andrew Solomon despair sad depression The absence of marriages will result in all kinds of financial burdens that gay people wouldn't face if they could get married. Andrew Solomon gay faces people It's deeply humbling to realize that there is no such thing as a society with a purchase on truth. Andrew Solomon humbling realizing Mild depression is a gradual and sometimes permanent thing that undermines people the way rust weakens iron ... Like physical pain that becomes chronic, it is miserable not so much because it is intolerable in the moment as because it is intolerable to have known it in the moments gone and to look forward only to knowing it in the moments to come. Andrew Solomon iron pain knowing While people argue with one another about the specifics of Freud's work and blame him for the prejudices of his time, they overlook the fundamental truth of his writing, his grand humility: that we frequently do not know our own motivations in life and are prisoners to what we cannot understand. We can recognize only a small fragment of our own, and an even smaller fragment of anyone else's, impetus. Andrew Solomon motivation humility writing Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger, and the more alien the stranger, the stronger the whiff of negativity. We depend on the guarantee in our children's faces that we will not die. Children whose defining quality annihilates that fantasy of immortality are a particular insult; we must love them for themselves, and not for the best of ourselves in them, and that is a great deal harder to do. Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination. Andrew Solomon imagination exercise children Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Andrew Solomon work-out pounds exercise Our needs are our greatest asset. It turns out I've learned to give all the things that I need. Andrew Solomon ive-learned giving needs Parenthood always involves recognizing your child as separate and different from you. Andrew Solomon parenthood different children Oppression breeds the power to oppose it. Andrew Solomon oppression Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference unites us. While each of these experiences can isolate those who are affected, together they compose an aggregate of millions whose struggles connect them profoundly. The exceptional is ubiquitous; to be entirely typical is the rare and lonely state. Andrew Solomon differences lonely struggle
