I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet. Wanda Sykes More Quotes by Wanda Sykes More Quotes From Wanda Sykes Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos? Wanda Sykes nappies With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now. Wanda Sykes relax black president You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness. Wanda Sykes disease goal trying I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked - our community was attacked. Now, I gotta get in their face. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman. And I'm proud to be gay. Wanda Sykes black gay community I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house. Wanda Sykes hate dog men I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing. Wanda Sykes rewards laughing people My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds. Wanda Sykes causes party fun I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies. Wanda Sykes tvs real goal It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are. Wanda Sykes comic persona voice I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket. Wanda Sykes waiting-around writing jobs We got to stop doing that, ladies. You know, men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal. Wanda Sykes loyal dog men I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house. Wanda Sykes bedroom-house six girl What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing. Wanda Sykes shut-up opinion political L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking. Wanda Sykes causes hate drinking We never hid anything from the kids. I feel whole again, I really do. I've told them, 'Mommy's boo-boo is much better now.' Wanda Sykes cancer feels kids When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank. Wanda Sykes email parent firsts I think the most difficult thing about coming out is just getting to that place where you're comfortable with who you are and you're sayin' hey this is ok and just accepting yourself and not caring what other people think. Because if you don't have that confidence in who you are then, if things don't go the way you wish that they will, you know if people aren't accepting then they can easily tear you down if you're not prepared and comfortable with who you are. Wanda Sykes caring people thinking Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better. Wanda Sykes it-gets-better get-better Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party. Wanda Sykes cancer party children Lot Of Strip Clubs in Florida... Good grief... Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole. Wanda Sykes florida grief needs