I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal. David Rees More Quotes by David Rees More Quotes From David Rees Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke. David Rees make-you-smilelaughingmean Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth. David Rees cleanteethuse I don't even drink Coke. It tastes like robot sweat. David Rees sweatrobotstaste I hate self-publishing; it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space. David Rees haterealself The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience. David Rees gratefulpeopleart It would be amazing to tell my grandchildren, like, 'Yeah, I was paid to sharpen 1,000 pencils.' David Rees grandchildrenyeahwould-be I never thought I would make a living as a pencil-sharpener. The first goal was: I don't want to lose money. And then the goal was: I want to see if 100 people buy my pencils. I just kept upping the benchmarks. David Rees goalwantpeople Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent. David Rees adultspayorder I don't think I would've ever dared dreaming of becoming a professional cartoonist. I wouldn't set myself up for that disappointment. David Rees disappointmentdreamthinking I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house. David Rees messyusedhouse People think, "Wow, people in America have so much money, they're sending hundreds of pencils to this guy." I don't think those people realize that most people who are buying these pencils are buying them as art objects or conversation pieces. David Rees americaartthinking I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way. David Rees peoplewaynegative I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing. David Rees prose-writingprosewriting I have very limited craftsmanship. And a lot of the stuff I make plays on that. David Rees craftsmanshipplaystuff I got to draw shapes. I really like to draw funky, geometric shapes. And I got to use just different fonts and make a joke of how feminine it was, but it didn't even have people in it. To me, it was so exciting and interesting to do that for a while. David Rees geometric-shapespeopleinteresting The thing that was interesting to me about Relationshapes - as opposed to most of the other cartoons I've ever made - was I knew when one worked and when one didn't work, but I couldn't really explain it. David Rees cartoonmadeinteresting To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques. David Rees realrightsjobs The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real. David Rees powerfulrealmoving I take pop culture really seriously, I think it's really important, and the stuff that I make...I don't want it to be insubstantial, even if it's about something wacky, like sharpening pencils. I feel like I owe it to myself and I owe it to people who are really interested in pencils and I owe it to anybody to do my due diligence and give them something real. David Rees realgivingthinking I was just worried that someone was gonna think that I had been commissioned by Jamba Juice to make cartoons about Jamba Juice. And the big thing for me was - if I'm not getting paid to sell out, I don't want people to think that I'm selling out. David Rees cartoonpeoplethinking
