I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.

Colin Mochrie

Categorized in : Thinking Forever Leader

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out. by Colin Mochrie

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

deep-within dinosaurs trying

Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

police flower order

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

reindeer spain red

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

nine believe people

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to wo... by Colin Mochrie

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

married wife husband

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories. by Colin Mochrie

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

remember memories long

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

eye mother mean

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

dolphins two years

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung? by Colin Mochrie

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

retiring ifs names

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitt... by Colin Mochrie

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

dyslexic wells return

The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

revenge said people

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was und... by Colin Mochrie

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

jury gentleman sheep

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elep... by Colin Mochrie

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

documentaries anorexics elephants

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab... by Colin Mochrie

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

embargo backwards knows

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

typos band school

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

crazy people thinking

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she w... by Colin Mochrie

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

witness mother worry

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this b... by Colin Mochrie

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

fish-tanks dying rivers

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall. by Colin Mochrie

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

disappointing summer fall

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

dating accomplishment skills