I don't watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn't the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s. Tim Conway More Quotes by Tim Conway More Quotes From Tim Conway You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. That's why I put Don in several of my movies. Tim Conway why without movies you Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with. Tim Conway lines want said funny Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I asked him to come along. Tim Conway thought charity life country Actually, we've done 75 of these shows and every one of them has sold out. But then we buy all the tickets. Tim Conway buy then out done We kept a broad audience, and we didn't make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves. Tim Conway mistakes fun life people If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person. Tim Conway person god people religion I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death. Tim Conway think you death people I have a lot of awards in my house that I have absolutely no idea what they are for. Tim Conway absolutely no-idea awards house When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot. Tim Conway beat small you funny I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home. Tim Conway violence language enough home My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ. Tim Conway sharing parents know funny I was dyslexic - was, still am - 'cause I would see words that weren't there. And people just started laughing, and I thought, well, this is a good way to make a living. I'll just go downtown to read and have people laugh, you know? Tim Conway laugh good you people