I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page. Craig Ferguson More Quotes by Craig Ferguson More Quotes From Craig Ferguson I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you. Craig Ferguson psych yelling night I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world. Craig Ferguson scots culture world CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf. Craig Ferguson worry golf sex Scientists say over the next hundred years, the coast of California will sink almost five feet. So the presidential candidates need to do something. Mitt Romney is conflicted. On one hand, he denies that global warming exists. But if California is under water, he would definitely win the next election. Craig Ferguson winning hands years Great, as long as you're happy Craig Ferguson long Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I've got to change stuff. Then I'm not doing it. Craig Ferguson climate mean needs Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes. Craig Ferguson fried-food cigarette healthcare I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. Craig Ferguson interest shows lost I wanted to be a rock star. Craig Ferguson rock-star rocks stars Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag. Craig Ferguson christmas blow numbers I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest. Craig Ferguson honest awards night I try and live my life in bite-size chunks. Craig Ferguson size living-my-life trying Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. Craig Ferguson stuff writing night I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. Craig Ferguson comfortable ambition earning The rain is giving much needed relief to California's crops. By that I mean 'marijuana.' Craig Ferguson marijuana rain mean Dell Computers announced they're releasing a competitor for the iPad. Now it is, in fact, a great alternative for people who already have an iPad, but are fed up with it working all the time. Craig Ferguson ipads facts people Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden. Craig Ferguson white house animal Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours. Craig Ferguson doctors night funny A new restaurant here in Southern California requires women to wear high heels. I'm outraged! This is sexist! Why just the women? Craig Ferguson california southern high-heels I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job. Craig Ferguson feet doors jobs