I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others. Christopher Moore More Quotes by Christopher Moore More Quotes From Christopher Moore In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime. Christopher Moore slime You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems. Christopher Moore problem Devil's Food?" You can only eat so much white cake, my friend. Christopher Moore cake devil white Like looking down on a lubricious chess set, isn't it? The king moves in tiny steps, with no direction, like a drunkard trying to avoid the archer's bolt. The others work their strategies and wait for the old man to fall. He has no power, yet all power moves in his orbit and to his mad whim. Do you know there's no fool piece on the chessboard, Kent?" "Methinks the fool is the player, the mind above the moves. Christopher Moore kings fall moving Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor. Christopher Moore rose rooms needs No theory ever benefited by the application of data, Amy. Data kills theories. A theory has no better time than when it's lying there naked, pure, unsullied by facts. Let's just keep it that way for a while." "So you don't really have a theory?" "Clueless." "You lying bag of fish heads." "I can fire you, you know. Even if Clay was the one that hired you, I'm not totally superfluous to this operation yet. I'm kind of in charge. I can fire you. Then how will you live?" "I'm not getting paid." "See, right there. Perfectly good concept ruined by the application of fact. Christopher Moore clueless fire lying As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something. Christopher Moore communication want needs You know, there's a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I'll bet I can do it in six. Christopher Moore gambling six steps Routine feeds the illusion of safety. Christopher Moore illusion routine safety Ack! Parables. I hate parables. Christopher Moore parables i-hate hate You're going to break my heart, aren't you? Christopher Moore my-heart break heart Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet. Christopher Moore flatulence demon dragons Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown. Christopher Moore zombie car way Moses should have said "Let my people go. Please." Christopher Moore moses should-have people Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit Christopher Moore bulletproof hard All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right? Christopher Moore killer-whales kevin whales Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal Christopher Moore hey doors littles ...then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted "She Walks in Beauty," which is like my favorite poem next to the one by Baudelaire about his girlfriend being nothing but worm food, except that Lily called that one first because Baudelaire is her fave poet and so she got the shirt with him on it, even though Byron is way more scrumptious and I would do him on sharp gravel if I had the chance. --from The Chronicles of Abby Normal Christopher Moore lilies abby girlfriend This Roberto. He no like the light. Christopher Moore light Perhaps there is a reason that there is no fool piece on the chessboard. What action, a fool? What strategy, a fool? What use, a fool? Ah, but a fool resides in a deck of cards, a joker, sometimes two. Of no worth, of course. No real purpose. The appearance of a trump, but none of the power: Simply an instrument of chance. Only a dealer may give value to the joker. Christopher Moore real giving two