I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for Karl Pilkington More Quotes by Karl Pilkington More Quotes From Karl Pilkington It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed. Karl Pilkington committedeasydiaries All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. Karl Pilkington up-to-younicepeople There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist. Karl Pilkington fishesinvisiblethinking Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out. Karl Pilkington one-daygunrunning So you're sayin that it's easy to send somat up to space, but you don't believe there's a little banana machine? Karl Pilkington machinesspacebelieve That impresses me more, inventin' electricity. Karl Pilkington impresselectricity Could the world fall? Karl Pilkington worldfall Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday - what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area. Karl Pilkington tapasholidaylunch I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me. Karl Pilkington surprisebigsenough That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. Karl Pilkington shapesproblem But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. Karl Pilkington ive-learnedidiotthe-end-of-the-day The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. Karl Pilkington the-end-of-the-daybodythinking Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? Karl Pilkington frisbeecaught I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. Karl Pilkington simple-lifelazysimple They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle... get it locked up. Karl Pilkington feetanimalideas When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in. Karl Pilkington idiotflyingjobs I found that being with happy positive people annoys me. Karl Pilkington positive-peopleannoyingpeople Every step starts with a step. Karl Pilkington every-stepsteps I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs. Karl Pilkington awardswinningnight And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. Karl Pilkington toastersweddingreason
