I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist. Nick Offerman More Quotes by Nick Offerman More Quotes From Nick Offerman If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt. Nick Offerman shirtspantsifs Always maintain the attitude of a student. If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent. Nick Offerman attitudemorningthinking Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it. Nick Offerman what-you-lovepaidfigures Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard. Nick Offerman life-changingfishingmen Technically, we're all half centaur. Nick Offerman centaurshalf Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it. If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson. Nick Offerman lessonschoicesmistake If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve? Nick Offerman wanthappy-lifethinking I have a ridiculously beautiful wife who's super sexy, and as long as she's happy with me, I don't need to look in the mirror and think, "How do I stack up next to Bradley Cooper? Would Cooper rock this shirt?" Doesn't matter. He does not have your wife. You do. Nick Offerman sexybeautifulthinking If you always have something in your life that you're trying to improve upon, then every day you have a reason to get out of bed, and you have a reason to achieve something and feel good. Nick Offerman bedfeel-goodtrying Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer. Nick Offerman love-one-anotherfarmershands Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment. Nick Offerman phdsdoctorsmeetings And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do. Nick Offerman sightlosthands I never went too long without a job. The problem was a lot of the early jobs are almost more demoralizing than unemployment. Nick Offerman unemploymentjobslong We're cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we're assholes first. Nick Offerman philosophicalairfirsts Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity. Nick Offerman upsetour-worldjobs With all of the visual distraction constantly inundating us in the form of our devices and screens, I really derive a great deal of pleasure from watching the sun rise and set, admiring clouds as they change shape across the sky, watching tree leaves and blossoms undulate in the breeze....these treats foment an ocular-cleansing refreshment to my way of thinking. Nick Offerman skycloudsthinking It's hard to swallow when people say, "Oh my God, you're a master of something." I say, "No, I'm actually a student of that. I could turn you on to websites for 25 masters, and you'll quickly see that I am their disciple." Nick Offerman mastersstudentspeople When it comes to marijuana, I think it's ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won't follow through on a philosophy that says: "If it's not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want." Nick Offerman hurtphilosophycountry I come from the theater, where I got into acting because I love transforming. I love nothing more than to be unrecognizable. Nick Offerman transformingtheateracting I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed technology. Nick Offerman technologylazinessthinking
