I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn. LIZ More Quotes by LIZ More Quotes From LIZ Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along? LIZ human-beingshumans I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues. LIZ dressestwopeople I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money. LIZ richwantpeople Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on. LIZ advicesexneeds You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel? LIZ emotionweaponsjewels Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch. LIZ lunchpancakeshome I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica. LIZ rockscases My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico. LIZ rocksgood-luckmom I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before. LIZ couplegonesong In my experience, 'let's think about it' usually ends up as me watching Solid Gold in my basement on prom night. LIZ goldnightthinking Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing. LIZ combinationlaughing I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust. LIZ intimatewritingpeople Thanks, it's my own recipe. I use cheddar cheese instead of water. LIZ recipesusewater Just need to rave for a moment about the scrubbing cleanser...I have only ever found one (chemical filled) product that REALLY cleans my shower/tub, until now. The Ava Anderson scrubbing cleanser is amazing! Cleans the toughest dirty spots and smells absolutely delightful. LOVE IT! LIZ smelldirtyneeds Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate. LIZ crushskinsheart I have many, many voices. I talk to my dogs like in the strangest voices you can imagine. LIZ imaginevoicedog Why do you sound surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America? LIZ gaymeankids If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down. LIZ taught-usrealitypeople Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor. LIZ jeansdoctorstrying Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old. LIZ partydogmistake
