I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate. Louis C. K. More Quotes by Louis C. K. More Quotes From Louis C. K. You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you. Louis C. K. eight can-do America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out. Louis C. K. work-out funny america It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen. Louis C. K. experience happens fun I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash. Louis C. K. mom baby soccer I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward. Louis C. K. nerd awkward growing-up If you had a jetpack you'd be like I have the shittiest jetpack. Who's your service provider on your jetpack? Did they make the new one? I hate this thing. Louis C. K. providers hate ifs Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from. Louis C. K. fringe people ideas You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless. Louis C. K. skepticism honestly useless If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. Louis C. K. medal father kids I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show. Louis C. K. use found way Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art. Louis C. K. solo performances art I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value of them. I know what they can do. Louis C. K. comedian community knows I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat. Louis C. K. movie actors crazy ...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties. Louis C. K. dad father way I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now. Louis C. K. enjoy right-now A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around. Louis C. K. smart team writing I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. Louis C. K. sense-of-humor jobs people Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority. Louis C. K. majority minorities looks There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?' Louis C. K. hate simple christian When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore. Louis C. K. dad mother running