I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for. Woody Allen showing-upgoallife-is I had an IQ test. The results came back negative. Woody Allen stupiditygodnegative Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. Woody Allen comedianrebirthice I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude. Woody Allen motherattitudefather I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. Woody Allen love-lifebrotherfunny I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. Woody Allen wittyfunnysex We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. Woody Allen books-and-movieshumorouswitty Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. Woody Allen sexylovefunny Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty. Woody Allen tragedysufferingpeople If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check. Woody Allen unclesmiraclesea Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it. Woody Allen up-in-the-airstandingair My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks. Woody Allen cossacksannie-hallbusy I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it. Woody Allen realjobsthinking How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works. Woody Allen nazihellunderstanding We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit! Woody Allen litcensorshipfilm Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen. Woody Allen meatmotherbelieve All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door. Woody Allen water-skiingdoorsfunny Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more. Woody Allen capacity-to-lovesimplegiving This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store. Woody Allen awfultastestuff It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen humorousfunnyscience
