I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want to see the inside of it. Lisa Lampanelli More Quotes by Lisa Lampanelli More Quotes From Lisa Lampanelli Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it's rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic. Except for maybe Whitney Cummings, but that's about it. That's why she's special: because she can combine it. Lisa Lampanelli someonechoicespecialpeople What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that. Lisa Lampanelli youreallifepeople I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else. It's already built. Lisa Lampanelli feelcomedyenoughtoday My thing has always been, I've never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything changed. It just opened me up and made me more loving... It's all because of him... He's made me a better person... I can tell people what I feel now. I can cry in front of people sometimes. Lisa Lampanelli feelmedogpeople Mr. Trump, I really can't comment, because he was my boss on 'Celebrity Apprentice,' and I just don't think we should let him be president until he produces evidence that the thing on his head is real. Because he wanted to see Obama's birth certificate, we should ask for a certificate of real hair. Lisa Lampanelli seethinkbosshair The dog lasted. The marriage didn't. So it shows which relationship was meant to be. Lisa Lampanelli meant-to-bemarriagedogrelationship I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too. Lisa Lampanelli metrustmotherwork I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you're that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you're tired and you don't have patience for it, you definitely snap. Lisa Lampanelli myselfyouagepatience I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society. Lisa Lampanelli nevergroupsocietyignorance We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate. Lisa Lampanelli nevermy-ownhusbandhouse If they hate you, they hate you, but I've always been polarizing, and I love that. Lisa Lampanelli youalwayshatelove
