I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. Roseanne Barr More Quotes by Roseanne Barr More Quotes From Roseanne Barr I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. It was the real life that I had trouble with. Roseanne Barr pouringrealwork I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine. Roseanne Barr spiritualityusedbelieve The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. Roseanne Barr marriagefoodsex And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. Roseanne Barr wellsshouldwriting Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil. Roseanne Barr self-esteemrootsevil My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life. Roseanne Barr dadagepeople Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why drugs like Vicodin are legal. Roseanne Barr drugmindthinking We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are. Roseanne Barr love-and-marriagesick Women are cursed, and men are the proof. Roseanne Barr funny-relationshipvalentines-daymen I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology. Roseanne Barr menopausebiologyenjoy Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor. Roseanne Barr bypasscaliforniabird I used to play Barbies with my Mormon neighbor friend; it was always, "Oh, we're going to go on a date. Ken's taking us out, and we're going with Ken on a date." And I was like, "We're parachuting behind enemy lines to save the Jews." That's how I played Barbies. I was told when I was a girl that every Jewish woman has to have five children to replace three fifths of our people that were killed. That's how I was raised. Roseanne Barr girlplaychildren My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had. Roseanne Barr my-childrenmotherchildren We had no religion at all, but we were Jews in New Hampshire, and my sister - who is now a rabbi - said it best: We were, like, the only Jews in Bedford, New Hampshire, as well as the only Democrats, so we just kind of associated those two things together. My dad raised us to believe that paying taxes is an honor. Roseanne Barr dadtwobelieve Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house. Roseanne Barr husbandspacehouse I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy. Roseanne Barr catenergytrying I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers. Roseanne Barr usedstarswant Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought. Roseanne Barr partyamericapeople Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact. Roseanne Barr growing-upbrothermother The American people are sick and tired of this ‘lesser evil’ garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they’re in office... Roseanne Barr tiredpeopleyears
