I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. Mark Twain hilariousopponentstree There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. Mark Twain humorousinspirationmen When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. Mark Twain motivationallovefunny Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain sarcasticwittyfunny It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. Mark Twain familycrazyinspirational Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant. Mark Twain gardenedenwisdom There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages. Mark Twain glassesgivingideas It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain inspirationsportsfunny Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. Mark Twain inspirationsuccesslife I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself. Mark Twain theatrestoriessometimes Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. Mark Twain vaporreputationinspiration The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes. Mark Twain doehistorypast I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. Mark Twain positiveinspirationallife Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. Mark Twain hilariousmenfunny Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that. Mark Twain atheismimpossiblereligion Experience comes from bad judgment. Mark Twain learning-something-newclimbinghiking If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick. Mark Twain bricksdoubtwatches The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain inspirational-lifewittyfunny Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. Mark Twain wittybabyfunny Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. Mark Twain learningeducationinspirational
