I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us. Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness. Jon Stewart conflictmedialaziness What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do? Jon Stewart human-beingshumansjesus No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns. Jon Stewart cartoondonekids While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy. Jon Stewart cuttingnew-yorkthinking Capote, of course, addressed very similar themes to Good Night and Good Luck. Both films are about determined journalists defying obstacles in a relentless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, both are period pieces. Jon Stewart piecesgood-luckgood-night I don't have a sort of Amway-esque chart up on my refrigerator or anything. Jon Stewart amwayrefrigerators On a more personal note we in this country we have a very tragic situation occur at one of our universities and, it really has taken the country aback and there's a real grieving process that we're going through, And going through it mourning and learning about the victims and-learning about it and showing our support, you know, I hesitate to say, how does your country handle what is that type of carnage on a daily basis? Jon Stewart takenrealcountry I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point. Jon Stewart hatetwoideas My friend Bill O’Reilly is completely full of sh*t. Jon Stewart bill-o-reillymy-friendsbills A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, "When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off." Jon Stewart easterbelievejesus I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media. Jon Stewart upsetmediadepth Poor people have sh*tty lobbyists. Jon Stewart lobbyistspoorpeople The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle. Jon Stewart homenightyears We feel no obligation to follow the news cycle. In other words, I felt no obligation to cover story in anyway, because we're not like I said, we're not journalists. And at that point, there's nothing sort of funny or absurd or to say about it. Jon Stewart absurdnewsstories People would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have an apparatus for that. We're discussing things that hopefully people might get something out of, but it's wildly inconsistent. Just because we hit on points that resonate, or people think are real complaints - that doesn't make us journalists. Jon Stewart realpeoplethinking We are, if anything - I do believe we function as a sort of editorial cartoon. That we are a digestive process, like so many other digestive processes that go on. Jon Stewart cartoonbelieve All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family. Jon Stewart eyesoldierhome I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place. Jon Stewart kidsworldthinking There's a disconnect there between - you're telling me this [war in Iraq] is fight of our generation, and you're going to increase troops by 10 percent. And that's gonna do it. I'm sure what [George W.Bush] would like to do is send 400,000 more troops there, but he can't, because he doesn't have them. Jon Stewart our-generationfightingwar Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. Jon Stewart homosexualitychoices
