I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally. Calvin Trillin More Quotes by Calvin Trillin More Quotes From Calvin Trillin Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry. Calvin Trillin selling dry color Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in. Calvin Trillin thirty numbers looks Once, in Lisbon, I tried my best to work the phone book in a way that would assuage a longing [Alice and I] had for certain Chinese dishes . . . . Calvin Trillin chinese phones book The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression? Calvin Trillin magazines expression firsts Was the Buffalo chicken wing invented Calvin Trillin half blue wings I suppose it's possible that the Sundance Kid didn't like to make much of his birthdays — they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year—but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West 'a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors'? Calvin Trillin real kids years You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.' Calvin Trillin sunday monday writing Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives. Calvin Trillin family It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club. Calvin Trillin records cooking discovery By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also weighs the same as two dimes and a nickel? But then she asked a question of her own: How do they weigh a hummingbird? Calvin Trillin dimes two thinking Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy. Calvin Trillin home world thinking The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives. Calvin Trillin family life book "Law professors were never like economics professors," a Harvard Law professor told me. "If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool." Calvin Trillin economics fool law Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth. Calvin Trillin dinner-guests girl mother The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt. Calvin Trillin yogurt average book Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques. Calvin Trillin aunt trying people If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. Calvin Trillin inappropriate ifs writing One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen. Calvin Trillin queens kings christian If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is? Calvin Trillin smart military mean Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food. Calvin Trillin wells
