I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born. Jeff Kinney More Quotes by Jeff Kinney More Quotes From Jeff Kinney ... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance. Jeff Kinney nice matter people Because it's our choices that makes us who we are. Jeff Kinney our-choices who-we-are choices I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place. Jeff Kinney childhood writing thinking You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you. Jeff Kinney dedication expectations I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school. Jeff Kinney summer morning school I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book. Jeff Kinney writing book children Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg Jeff Kinney aunt jealous looks I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget Jeff Kinney chicken-nuggets nuggets chickens See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich. Jeff Kinney next-day one-day kids Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know. Jeff Kinney people way thinking So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. Jeff Kinney underwear bed needs I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days. Jeff Kinney guy girl needs The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more. Jeff Kinney weekend bed taste You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End. Jeff Kinney nerd blow fall Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her. Jeff Kinney guy girl class Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day. Jeff Kinney bully people school I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!! Jeff Kinney diaries thinking Monkeys can't talk, stupid! Jeff Kinney monkeys stupid Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers. Jeff Kinney one-day kids way But the thing I’m finding out is some people don’t really appreciate it when you’r trying to be helpful. Jeff Kinney appreciate trying people
