I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. Dorothy Parker More Quotes by Dorothy Parker More Quotes From Dorothy Parker Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience. Dorothy Parker audienceappreciateintelligent The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. Dorothy Parker tonguemorningfirsts If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me. Dorothy Parker social-gracesmagnoliasnice Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye. Dorothy Parker creativityeyemind I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host. Dorothy Parker alcoholdrinkingtwo The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be. Dorothy Parker laws-of-lifedependablelaw If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to. Dorothy Parker godinspiringfunny Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. Dorothy Parker agemaybirthday Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty. Dorothy Parker missinghandsdirty Four be the things I am wiser to know: Dorothy Parker laughtereyehope Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave. Dorothy Parker garmentsstyleyears I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem. Dorothy Parker problemdrinkingwriting The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker wisdomlifefunny If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy. Dorothy Parker writinghappyfriendship That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. Dorothy Parker cuttingtombstonedeath Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life. Dorothy Parker appleschangesex Lady, lady, never start Conversation toward your heart; Keep your pretty words serene; Never murmur what you mean. Show yourself, by word and look, Swift and shallow as a brook. Be as cool and quick to go As a drop of April snow; Be as delicate and gay As a cherry flower in May. Lady, lady, never speak Of the tears that burn your cheek- She will never win him, whose Words had shown she feared to lose. Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did. Dorothy Parker flowerwiseheart If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them. Dorothy Parker unnecessaryhurtattitude You can't teach an old dogma new tricks. Dorothy Parker witdogmatricks If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you. Dorothy Parker skirtspartysex
