I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to. Albert Brooks More Quotes by Albert Brooks More Quotes From Albert Brooks Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it. Albert Brooks dog hot men I've seen the future! It's a bald-headed man from New York! Albert Brooks new-york men You know, when cameras are rolling, improvisation doesn't feel natural. The pressure is too great. You're on a time schedule. You've got 60 crewmen. Albert Brooks rolling cameras pressure I don't think the goal is, 'How big a star did you ever become?' I think the goal is, 'Were you able to express yourself?' Albert Brooks stars goal thinking A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts! Albert Brooks anxious anchors powerful If you paint, write, do mosaics, knit - if it's solving that part of your brain saying, 'I need to do this,' you've won. Albert Brooks mosaics brain writing If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money. Albert Brooks exhibitionist millions ifs I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from. Albert Brooks divorce want long In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle. Albert Brooks careers jobs people My mother was supportive without knowing it. Deep down she wanted all the right things, she just didn't see the world like I did, and she's not supposed to. Albert Brooks supportive knowing mother I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions. Albert Brooks topics laughing people Art and resistance are great together. That's what art's made for. Look at Vincent van Gogh: He didn't cut off his ear because he was selling well. Albert Brooks cutting together art Starting to drink now in preparation for New Years. No more last minute stuff like Christmas. Albert Brooks new-year preparation years Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch. Albert Brooks screenwriters hollywood watches The whole world is tense. Everybody gets the international news. Theres been no American comedy at all that even remotely addresses the subject in any way. My goal isnt to solve the worlds problems. My character wasnt even able to do his assignment. But the premise of wanting to find out about somebody -- other than the stuff that the CIA will tell you -- theres no hope unless we do that. Albert Brooks news goal character You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better. Albert Brooks tennis get-better games I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine. Albert Brooks support long children When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up. Albert Brooks thongs screwed-up firsts What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women. Albert Brooks nice taken jobs As an actor, if you're just sitting and staring and you don't know who you are in your own mind, it's vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up. Albert Brooks rays cameras mind