I tell myself that after four children my belly is already so stretched and flabby that I have to do origami to get my pants buttoned. One more pregnancy and I'd be doomed to elastic waists for the rest of my life. Ayelet Waldman More Quotes by Ayelet Waldman More Quotes From Ayelet Waldman My own husband was divorced when we met, but without kids. I don't know what I would have done if he'd had them. I got the message very early on that the worst mistake a woman can make is marrying a man with children. Ayelet Waldman husband mistake children I was a federal public defender during the most important years of the drug war. I saw people go to jail for nothing, and go to jail for a long time. Ayelet Waldman jail war years I mean, I do actually think there is a qualitative difference between aborting in the early part of the first trimester and in, you know, the middle or later part of the second trimester, in a way that you feel about it in that you grow attached. Ayelet Waldman differences mean thinking Personally, I think four is the perfect number of children for our particular family. Four is enough to create the frenzied cacophony that my husband and I find so joyful. Ayelet Waldman husband children thinking I was terrified of LSD. I don't want to get arrested. Ayelet Waldman lsd terrified want I’ve sometimes thought that it’s only by recalling that desperate devotion my kids once felt for me that I can maintain my own desperate devotion in the face of their adolescent sneering. Ayelet Waldman faces sometimes kids So many women today have become so focused on their children, they've developed these romantic entanglements with their children's lives, and the husbands are secondary. They're left out. And the romantic focus is on the children. Ayelet Waldman focus husband children The stereotypical gay man is someone whose company I enjoy, someone who makes me laugh, someone I'd want my kid to be. The stereotypical gay woman makes me insecure, conscious of my failings as a feminist. Ayelet Waldman insecure gay kids Being a public defender makes you incredibly paranoid - and I would say with reason - about law enforcement. Ayelet Waldman enforcement law reason There is an inverse correlation between the cleanliness of a bathroom and my 3-year-old daughter's need to move her bowels. Ayelet Waldman daughter years moving With prodigious bravery and eviscerating humor, Roxane Gay takes on culture and politics in Bad Feminist-and gets it right, time and time again. We should all be lucky enough to be such a bad feminist. Ayelet Waldman feminist gay bravery I'd written personal essays before, but never on this scale -- never so often and with such, er, honesty. (If by honesty I mean slashing my wrists and hemorrhaging all over the computer screen). Ayelet Waldman computer honesty mean When I was 15, what I wanted in a boyfriend was just that confidence and swagger. I wanted someone who knew what he was doing, because I was just faking it. What I want for my daughter is the exact opposite. Ayelet Waldman swagger daughter opposites Why are the architects of the family-values agenda so eager to punish into the next generation? What is being served by seeking, quite literally, a tooth for a tooth? Ayelet Waldman agendas teeth generations Whatever my intentions, whatever the truth of my claim, I had no business giving a lecture to a total stranger. Ayelet Waldman lectures stranger giving Those of us whose parenting style can be described as "a series of reflexes, instincts, and minute-by-minute adjustments," as Julie of A Little Pregnant puts it, rather than as a philosophy, are less invested in our own practices. What we do is often less a matter of conviction than one of convenience. What we need to remember is that there is no need to apologize for that, even in the face of the most red-faced outrage. Ayelet Waldman style practice philosophy You can take the babushka off the Jewish mother and dress her up in a pair of Seven jeans and Marc Jacobs sling-backs, but she's still going to expect a passel of grandkids. Ayelet Waldman jeans mother dresses I've only ever been interested in drugs as therapeutic tools. Ayelet Waldman therapeutic drug tools Yes, I have four children. Four children with whom I spend a good part of every day: bathing them, combing their hair, sitting with them while they do their homework, holding them while they weep their tragic tears. But I'm not in love with any of them. I am in love with my husband. Ayelet Waldman husband hair children When the babies were very young, I found it difficult to write. I told myself each time that it would be different, I was used to it now, but with every child, for the first four months, I would accomplish nothing. Ayelet Waldman writing baby children
