I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. John Candy More Quotes by John Candy More Quotes From John Candy As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything. John Candy humorous overcoming long Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum John Candy hey smoking years You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. John Candy real hurt thinking I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend! John Candy half dog men If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it. John Candy not-happy ifs Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago. John Candy bucks chicago nuts Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh John Candy laughing people world Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips. John Candy orange three want You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home. John Candy lines home men I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it. John Candy healthy weight exercise I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you. John Candy mirrors looks I think I may have become an actor to hide from myself. You can escape into a character. John Candy actors character thinking Like your job. Love your wife. John Candy wife love-you jobs You can escape into a character. John Candy character I don't watch my movies. I just get too critical of myself. John Candy critical watches I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated. John Candy intimidated tonight shows Your intention going in is to do the best you can. You go in and do your work, day to day, the best you can. But it's entirely up to the director and the editor and the producers and the studio how it turns out. John Candy best day you work I would come home and re-create every movie. Our backyard became a battleship, a war zone, a western town. John Candy town come home war You don't pay an actor to act. An actor will do that for free because we love to act. You pay an actor to wait. John Candy wait free you love My salary for 'Splash' was $350,000. I got about $800,000 for 'Summer Rental.' So, yes, I thought, 'Well, here's a chance to get some furniture for the house and some clothes for the kids.' John Candy thought clothes chance house